This Sunday my host mother had her "graduation" for her life coaching class. I was invited and since she's been so nice to me, I thought I'd do her a solid and go to show some support. The morning began with me wondering what the hell I had voluntarily agreed to-why would I willingly spend five hours in a room full of rich Argentines celebrating themselves? I almost backed out when I realized my host dad and I were going together and saying I was sick wouldn't work.
So the two of us left the apartment building and grabbed a taxi. Mind you, this is the closest proximity my host dad and I have ever been in, save for the occasional dinner. He and the taxista had a conversation about the corrupt government while the taxista's cigarette smoke wafted back. We arrived at the hotel where the event was being held and powerwalked through the lobby. No one had arrived yet so we helped ourselves to the breakfast that we thought was for the invitees. Halfway through this mostly silent meal, a waiter came over and told us that the food was only for hotel guests. Whoops. In the smoothest of moves, my host dad paid the waiter and kept eating his ham and cheese croissant. A few other of my host parent's friends came and sat with us and I found myself deeply engrossed in a conversation about how fantastic the city of Las Vegas is and how awesome the United States government was.
We finally went in to the room where the event was set up. It looked exactly like a business conference crammed into a small space. Pepin (my host dad) and I squeezed into one of the narrow rows and sat down. A few minutes later an annoyingly bouncy man came out in front and began explaining the event. His voice sounded like that of a mid-grade car salesman and gave me the impression I was about to be swindled into buying something I didn't know I wanted. There were five other "graduates" and the first woman began her presentation. With a dance. The entire audience was urged to stand up and follow along as the Sims-looking dancers on the screen did a series of increasingly humiliating dance moves. I glanced sideways at Pepin and knew that neither of us had any intention of losing that much dignity so early in the morning. After an eternity, everyone sat down and the woman continued her presentation.
Why was this such great human theatre? Well my friends, after the woman had finished, the same bouncy man came out and began publicly critiquing what she had done. Essentially, he constructively hoed her life. Then one of the other "judges"(there were three of them, I assume the teachers of the life coaching class)came out and did the same thing. At that moment I was so glad I had no emotional connection to the potential embarrassment of any of these people and upon realizing it, the whole event became hilarious.
When we broke for lunch I told Pepin that I had to be somewhere in an hour and he patted me on the back and told me I was fine to leave. There was almost a sense of "save yourself" in his voice. So I bee lined past the food (which looked dank)and headed for the exit. Walked a block, caught the 10 line home and then went for a 7 mile run.
If I think about it,not a bad Sunday at all.
-j
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